My Roid Rage

I am sick and tired of idiotic, uninformed, unctuous, and did I mention idiotic sports "journalists" talking about the "steroids" scandal. Until one of these geniuses defines for me what was used by these sports atheletes, whether Bonds, Rodriguez, McGwire, or whoever, I am not going to get even remotely excited. There were/are any number of supplements that are "performance enhancing." Any number of these are available to anyone who walks into your neighborhood GNC or other sports nutrition outlet. And any one of them would register a positive in a urine test by baseball or any other sport for that matter. Anything that you or I could buy without a prescription would probably qualify as a "steroid" in today's hysterical atmosphere. Anabolic steroids have a distinct and limited medical meaning. Just calling any supplement, which is now unauthorized by the baseball (or any other sport's) "steroid" policy, a "steroid" is lazy and, worse, irresponsible.

Further, who cares? Anyone who believes in the worst will tell you that every player was on steroids. Fine. How is that not a level playing field? If everybody's doing it, then no one had a competitive advantage. I know that offends the phony parents who claim that we have to look out for our kids, but tough. If parents are waiting for baseball, football, and basketball players to properly bring up their children, they deserve what they get. Meet Pacman Jones.

Another important point is that these supplements, whether actual anabolic steroids, HGH, or some other supplement, only work if the player is exercising and working out with weights. The myth is that these supplements automatically make you stronger, better, faster. Wrong! All they do is help heal your muscles that you tear up through exercise. Cases in point: The Canseco twins and the Giambi twins. Jose and Jason are multi-millionaires and Ozzie and Jeremy are....exactly! Barry Bonds hit the ball. McGwire and Sosa hit the ball. Steroids don't improve your eye at the plate. If anything, pitchers would benefit way more from "steroid" use than hitters because the fatigue that their arms suffer would be minimized and their recuperation would allow them to get in more work on their mechanics.

Finally, everyone, stop calling this "cheating." A) nobody has defined for me that what these players were ALLEGEDLY taking was illegal except with perscription; B) even if that were true, there was no rule in baseball against it; and C) if everybody was doing it, nobody had a competitve advantage. If a "juiced" pitcher is pitching to a "juiced" hitter, the competitive balance is served. May the best muscle man win. This cheating talk comes from dweeby sports talk show hosts, writers, anchors, etc., who could never play and never had to deal with the pressure of performing in the most competitive of arenas. It's interesting that the sports media who were actually in sports aren't breathing fire and brimstone against those accused; they are mouthing the proper platitudes about how it's wrong, etc., but they aren't condemning these guys and taking their actions personally. It is only the jealous wannabes that whine and complain and bemoan it as a personal affront to all true sports fans. Please....spare me.

I am not advocating illegally enhancing anyone's performance, but let's not be too hypocritical about it. Nobody was saying, as McGwire, Sosa, then Bonds were nearing their records that they should stop. Nobody stopped going to watch Marian Jones dominate her sport or Lance Armstrong dominate his. Not fans, not owners, and not the media. McGwire had a bottle of androstenedione in his locker in plain sight of reporters. Tickets were sold and money was taken in. Let's not start now demanding our money back. We got what we paid for and what we deserve.

To say that the Hall of Fame would be diminished if we included any of these players is ludicrous. It would be one thing if the Hall was a symbol of true, unspoiled greatness, but it's not. Lawrence Taylor and Michael Irvin, both caught (as in actually seen) taking an illegal narcotic. Both are in the Football Hall of Fame. Ty Cobb, the biggest racist ever to strap on cleats is in the Baseball Hall of Fame. Nevertheless, the hitter who passed Cobb's hit record is not in, but Jim Rice, for crying out loud, is. This is not some sacrosanct temple. So, should Bonds be in, yes. Should McGwire, yes. Even Palmeiro, idiotic as he is, should be in. If Gaylord Perry, who never made any bones about throwing a spitball (without actually admitting it), which is clearly cheating, is in the Hall, no one can arbitrarily bar these men who were only giving us what we wanted.